"I know I'm a sinner, but I haven't done anything wrong!"

I've been a little quiet on the blog lately - I've been a little busy. This doesn't mean things haven't Crossed my life, it just means I haven't had much time to process the things around me and find time to actually write about them.

In one of the books I've been reading lately ('Confession and Forgiveness: Professing Faith as Ambassadors of Reconciliation' by Ted Kober), I came across the above quote: "I know I'm a sinner, but I haven't done anything wrong!". I almost laughed out loud when I read this! (By the way, it was spoken by a pastor!) Yet in another sense, it's deadly serious. How many Christians think they've done nothing wrong?

Many times I've heard one of two reactions to sermons where I sought to expose people's sin. One is "I wish so-and-so were hear to hear that!" To this I often wonder (and sometimes say), "But you were here. What did it say to you?" Don't we often want to point the finger at others but hate it when the finger points at us! This is more comfortable - just brush it aside and deflect the accusation to someone else.

This leads me to the second reaction: people think I'm picking on them when I expose their sin. Well, I admit I have felt moved to mention something in the sermon at times targeting a specific person, but most of the times I did this, they weren't at worship that day (or weren't listening at the time!). Instead someone else who I didn't even consider to be affected by this particular sin felt as if I picked on them. If anyone was picking on them, it was the Holy Spirit!

At times people have said to me I talk about sin too much. They argue it's off-putting to newcomers. They also argue "We all know we're sinners - you don't have to go on and on about it!" Hmmm, don't you think this is so much like the above quote?

Exposing our sin is uncomfortable. The Spirit probes through our conscience and jabs at our guilt, our shame and our brokenness. Yet like a doctor's scalpel, we need to get rid of the infection before we can experience true healing.

Sin breaks our relationships - our relationships with our families and friends, our work mates, and our sporting mates. Sin breaks the view of ourselves, leading to struggling self-worth. Sin breaks our relationship with God.

The reason sin needs to be exposed is so that the gospel will do it's saving effect. If we don't think we need a Saviour from our sin, what on earth do we need Jesus for? Jesus didn't come to be a miracle vending machine, but in order to save us from our sin.

Perhaps we mouth the words "I am a sinner" all too easily without realising the implications. Quite simply I have done wrong in God's sight. Full stop. No excuses. No attempts at self-justification. It is my own fault.

I go to worship, not always because I enjoy it (or even because I'm paid to), but because I need it. I am a sinner and I need a Saviour to save me from myself and my sin. Since I can't fix myself, I need God to come down and serve me. I need him to expose the sickness of my sin, my spiritual thirst, and my hunger for peace. I need him to announce his forgiveness so my joy and peace is restored.

Yes, I know I'm a sinner. I also know I've done plenty wrong. It takes effort for me to see that in myself and specify my sin, yet I can also lay those specific sins at the foot of the cross and receive the forgiveness of Jesus Christ.

I am a sinner. Jesus is my Saviour.

Idolatry - the root of all conflict?

I'm attending a conference on conflict and reconciliation in Sydney later in the year and I've been given some homework before I arrive. My first task is to read the book 'The Peacemaker' by Ken Sande.

I flicked through it last night and noticed one chapter that talks about idolatry and how it can be the cause of much conflict. It seems to progress in the following order:

I desire
I demand
I judge
I punish

Without reading further, I started thinking about some forms of conflict and how this develops. For example, in family life (say between husband and wife or children), someone desires something - usually for oneself, starts to demand it (with all the subsequent nagging), judges everyone else wrong and cruel if he or she doesn't get their own way, and then punishes through verbal or physical abuse (or even by 'sulking'). Even the 'worship wars' or financial conflicts in many congregations follow a similar pattern.

With this in mind, I can easily see how conflict is often caused by putting oneself or ones' desires first, which is idolatry. In conflict therefore, what is my idol that is causing such offence that I need to repent of? How can I show grace instead of selfishness, mercy instead of punishment, and peace instead of war?

I'm looking forward to reading how the author suggests to deal with conflict in a biblical and Christ-centred manner.

Food for thought...

Some Luther quotes

I came across these this morning and thought them worth sharing:

Every man must do two things alone: he must do his own believing and his own dying.

Peace if possible, truth at all costs.

The fewer the words, the better the prayer.

How soon 'not now' becomes 'never'.

Dishonouring His name by 'glossing'

I don't remember everything I read. I don't have a photographic memory. This is why I need to re-read them.

In my daily reading today (among other books, I'm currently re-reading Martin Luther's Large Catechism), I came across the following:

'By nature we all have this lovely virtue that whenever we commit a wrong we like to cover it and gloss over our disgrace so that no one may see or know it. No one is so audacious as to boast of the wickedness he or she has committed. We prefer to act in secret without anyone knowing about it. When someone is caught, then God and his name must be dragged into it, so that the dirty business may be made honorable and the disgrace noble.' (Large Catechism, 2nd Commandment, 59-60)

I was struck how true this still is. When we do something wrong and our conscience is struck by it, we either try to cover it up, excuse it, or sanctify it. By doing so we bring dishonour to the holy name of God we bear. It's therefore better to be honest and confess our wrong, make no excuses, and seek forgiveness.

We all sin. Glossing over, justifying, or making our sin seem honourable in some way doesn't get rid of it. It still stains us until we expose it and hand it over to be washed away by Christ's suffering, rejection, and death. We honour God's holy name by appealing to him in prayer, praise and thanksgiving.

I look forward to more gems of wisdom and insight over the coming days...

Luther & Aesop

This morning I was reading an article titled 'Luther's Aesop' in a theological journal called Logia. I was interested to discover Martin Luther loved Aesop's fables even though they're pagan stories. He loved them so much he compared them with the writings of the prophets and the psalms. This doesn't mean he considered them to be the inspired word of God or that they should be used in worship, but he considered them to be very helpful to teach young people good morals in schools.

One was quoted that I thought worth sharing (that Luther had reworked):

Of the Dog in the Water

A dog ran through a stream of water and had a piece of meat in his mouth. 

But when he saw the reflection of the meat in the water, he thought that it was also meat and he snapped eagerly for it. 

But when he opened his mouth the piece of flesh he had fell out and the water carried it away. 

So he lost both the meat and its reflection.

Teaching

One should be content with what God has given him.

He who disdains having a little will not have something bigger.

He who wants to have too much, will have nothing in the end.

Many lose what is certain for what is uncertain.

Perhaps Aesop's fables are worth extra consideration, even today.

Simple pleasures

Yesterday I enjoyed one of the simple pleasures in life - licking the chocolate bowl!

Julie was making a chocolate cake and all the girls had left for school. I was working away and she came in to offer the bowl to me to clean it up. I took it without much hesitation! Even though Julie scrapes it very clean, there was still enough for me to savour and enjoy.

Recently we went on holidays. This time we didn't spend great amounts on entertainment (except viewing a couple of films in some cinemas fitted out with worn out second-hand chairs), yet some of my fondest recollections was of the simple things: reading some good books, walking along beaches, watching birds fly and dance in the air, observing some dolphins play in the distance, attempting to body surf, going for walks, and spending time with family.

In this age of entertainment, perhaps we've forgotten to notice and thank God for the simple pleasures. I'm also convinced God doesn't always bless us in the big or impressive times, but through little, almost unnoticeable times, perhaps even in some of these simple pleasures. Unfortunately many expect great and memorable moments in worship or in their faith journey, only to be disappointed.

Although I'm the pastor and generally know what's coming on Sunday, I'm not looking to be entertained or looking to receive big 'Aha' moments, but I'm looking forward to more simple (yet holy) pleasures. I'm looking forward to singing ancient and modern hymns. I'm looking forward to hearing those around me, no matter how in tune they are or unimpressive their voices are, as they sing about their faith to me. I'm looking forward to saying the Creed which we say every Sunday (unfortunately often in a very monotone cadence). I'm looking forward to listening to God speak to me sweet words of forgiveness and comfort. I'm looking forward to holding a small wafer of bread and sipping some wine knowing Jesus is truly present in this holy (and largely unimpressive by worldly standards) meal. I'm looking forward to hearing those words of blessing which send me out on my way for another week of pain and joy.

Ahhh, simple pleasures!

Mowing, lawns, weeds and sin

Yesterday I was mowing the lawn. I reckon it's the 5th time in five weeks. I don't mind mowing the lawn, but finding time every week when there's so many other things I'd rather do (or should do) can get a little annoying. 

When I mow the lawn, I listen to music on my MP3. Artists like Billy Joel, Cold Chisel, Midnight Oil, the Waifs, John Butler (and many others) entertain me as I whip the weeds and mow the grass. Despite the music that fills my ears, many things cross my mind.

One of my thoughts that crossed my mind was about the lawn I mow (mixed with an assortment of weeds). It's been growing fast (hence my need to mow regularly). The rain comes, the sun shines, the lawn grows. It looks good (in most places), but it looks better when I mow. When the rain didn't come, the lawn didn't grow much, but the weeds still grew (amazing how resilient those weeds can be!). Not the same weeds as I currently have, but there were weeds anyway. 

As I reflected on this fact, I also reflected on my life as a Christian. When times are abundant and things are going well, the weeds of sin still affect my life (like the weeds of greed, selfishness and pride), in fact they could be growing faster and be more abundant than before. I may not notice them so much because I'm also focussing on the green lawn. Yet during times of suffering and trial, the weeds of sin still grow (like jealousy, bitterness and unforgiveness). They're more noticable because there's less lawn (read: less good times) than before. The sins that affect me aren't always the same during good and bad times. Sometimes they are (just like some weeds grow in drought and good seasons alike), but some weeds are unique to the season.

Where does this leave me? Well, I'm now finished mowing. As I write I hear some more rain coming on the roof. The weeds and grass are going to grow again!

I'm a sinner. I can't always control myself. The weeds of sin seem to come in so many varieties and at times I don't always plan or expect, both in good times and bad. I suppose, just like my lawn, I need to be cut back through repentance, and receive the gracious words of forgiveness again (and again and again and...).